He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
