I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
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Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
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You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
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