You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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