I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
The dick lei will go down in squad history
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
