I just pynch a tree in the face
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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