Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Randomize
