shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
