just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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