TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
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