i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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