He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
