Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
It's just like the Real World with babies
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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