Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
