First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
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Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
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How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize