That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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