Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
