tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
