whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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