It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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