I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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