I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
