So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
