I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Randomize
