She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
