Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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