shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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