is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
this hospital has no fireball
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
