i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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