at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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