Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize