he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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