Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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