He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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