I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
