haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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