I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
