We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
