A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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