I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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