I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
