***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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