i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
