her vagine was all disorganized.
My hand turned me down
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Randomize
