I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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