dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
