New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
