i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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