Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
