bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Randomize
