census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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