ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Watching her eat just hurts me
I just blew my weed a kiss
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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