The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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