HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
