I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
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