Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
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From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
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I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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