wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
