its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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