Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
we made out on top of his cat.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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