talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
