all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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