I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
