I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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