hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
