DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
