even my farts smell like vagina
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
