We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Randomize
